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So with all the ups and downs over the past 8 years. I finally was diagnosed bp. I was diagnosed this before but denied it. I am still in shock. I am so lucky to have a good support system. Yesterday I missed two days, I was so agitated that I slept for two days. I guess it is better than fighting everyone. I am home alone the kids will be here in 2 hours. I have not done much today. I have a lot of energy I am sure from the meds. I am waiting to get to that point where I feel somewhat normal. I believe I will get there. I knew all along deep down I had more than just depression. I am glad I was not hospitolized. I am so luck to have M here for me. Somedays are better than others. More later.
Sorry I thought all of these years I had depression with anxiety. After having a very rough last few years emotional. I finally broke down. In any case I am on lithium and lamotrigine and som other meds serocoul, lorazapam, and prazosin. By high have been explained to me as extreme additation, irritability, rapid speach and thoughts. I have me taking the lowerst dosage of these new med in additiona to my old depressed meds (he wants to taper off them)
I was okay the first few days and the tolday woke up irritatble is this from the lamotriggne? what can i expect from all these meds.
I was okay the first few days and the tolday woke up irritatble is this from the lamotriggne? what can i expect from all these meds.
I have been on a liquid fast for 4 days I want to switch to abc so I don't end in a binge. I am either all or nothing so do you really lose weight? I lose about 2 a day on fasts.
oh and another ??????????
lindsey lohan
What do you think she did to get that thin?
oh and another ??????????
lindsey lohan
What do you think she did to get that thin?
I thought this would be a great way for me to vent without worrying that may pass away and someone will read the thought I really felt during life. Anyhow I am not sure how this works but I am happy to have a place I can say what I want.
They are finally getting their apartment saturday. it ahs been hard for everyone with that many in the house, but I will miss having a full house in a way. the hardest thing fo rme is how much time this is taking up of my husbands. I am so tired and it is hard to be mad at him when it really is not his fault at how busy and how much he has do. It is just hard. It seems from the time i turned 30 i have less energy. i used to be able to outlast him. now he is just running around crazy. At times I am so tired for him and at other times I feel mad at how much time he gives helping others in the community.. it gets to where people start to expect him to help it is not like he is doin gthem a favor. it just pisses me off. for the last 8 years i have been waiting fo rthings to calm down. fo rthe time where we don't have some crisis with the mosque of we are not having company over. or something so important has to be done. i guess i have been waiting fo rnormal and this is normal for my life. maybe that is the problem i need to accept things the way they are. i imagine it is hard for him being pulled in so many directions. I am upset sometimes that he doesn;t spend the time to teach the kids arabic and other things relating to their culture. I mean it seems hypacridical that he is running a mosque and his children can not speak his language fully. There are some things that you jsut have to make a priority and i hav etalke to him about that and i am not going to keep asking him. i just see so many things that later on in life he is going to look back and say i wish i would have spent more time with my kids or taught them certain things.instead of spening so much time helping others in teh community who were using them because they did not want to do things themselve. yes that really bothers me and hurts. it hurts because it makes me feel like we are not important enought to take the time to teach them these things. and no matter what he says it does not change that fact.. there are many people busier than him who make certain things priorities. by the time he gets home he has nothing left to give us. I am so proud of him in many ways everything he has accomplished but at times it feels like him and us. not all of us it feels like he is out there in the world so important and we are seperate from him we get the left overs. when i talk to him he tells me no we are his number one priority but of course that is what he is suppoose to say. his actions are different. i know many of the things he does is to support his family and i know how important it is for him to have a mosque in our area. i am sad for him in a way that we are missing out and one day he will really see what he missed and then it will be too late.
They are finally getting their apartment saturday. it ahs been hard for everyone with that many in the house, but I will miss having a full house in a way. the hardest thing fo rme is how much time this is taking up of my husbands. I am so tired and it is hard to be mad at him when it really is not his fault at how busy and how much he has do. It is just hard. It seems from the time i turned 30 i have less energy. i used to be able to outlast him. now he is just running around crazy. At times I am so tired for him and at other times I feel mad at how much time he gives helping others in the community.. it gets to where people start to expect him to help it is not like he is doin gthem a favor. it just pisses me off. for the last 8 years i have been waiting fo rthings to calm down. fo rthe time where we don't have some crisis with the mosque of we are not having company over. or something so important has to be done. i guess i have been waiting fo rnormal and this is normal for my life. maybe that is the problem i need to accept things the way they are. i imagine it is hard for him being pulled in so many directions. I am upset sometimes that he doesn;t spend the time to teach the kids arabic and other things relating to their culture. I mean it seems hypacridical that he is running a mosque and his children can not speak his language fully. There are some things that you jsut have to make a priority and i hav etalke to him about that and i am not going to keep asking him. i just see so many things that later on in life he is going to look back and say i wish i would have spent more time with my kids or taught them certain things.instead of spening so much time helping others in teh community who were using them because they did not want to do things themselve. yes that really bothers me and hurts. it hurts because it makes me feel like we are not important enought to take the time to teach them these things. and no matter what he says it does not change that fact.. there are many people busier than him who make certain things priorities. by the time he gets home he has nothing left to give us. I am so proud of him in many ways everything he has accomplished but at times it feels like him and us. not all of us it feels like he is out there in the world so important and we are seperate from him we get the left overs. when i talk to him he tells me no we are his number one priority but of course that is what he is suppoose to say. his actions are different. i know many of the things he does is to support his family and i know how important it is for him to have a mosque in our area. i am sad for him in a way that we are missing out and one day he will really see what he missed and then it will be too late.
